two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
How does one acquire holy water?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
