i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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