i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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