Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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