I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
