In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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