i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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