and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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