I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
