ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
