Walk of Shame today included voting.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize