South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
