I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
as a side note pls kill me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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