God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
