He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
