On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
