FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
