I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
