What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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