Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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