I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
