what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
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