I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
