Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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