nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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