she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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