what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
