god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
