i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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