I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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