i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
