Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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