i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
