Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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