i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
