i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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