I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
