I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Randomize
