Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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