I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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