I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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