i think my tv is drunk
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
