4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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