She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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