video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
