sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
