I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
