Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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