there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
