Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Randomize
