reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
