dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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