i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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