from now on my penis is your penis
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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