420 ftw
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Can you bring me the toilet please
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
