the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
