its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize