Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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