"it" just moved
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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