Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
